Archive for April, 2007

Why I’m Bad at Math

While lying on my back to make
an angel in the snow,
I saw a greenish craft appear!
a giant UFO!

A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!
And aliens were moving ’round in viewing ports glowing red!

I tried to run for cover, but a hook that they had lowered
Snagged me by my overcoat and hoisted me aboard!

Even then, I tried to fight, and though they numbered many,
I poked them in their compound eyes and pulled on their antennae!

It was no use! They dragged me to a platform, tied me up,
And wired to my cranium a fiendish suction cup!

They turned it on and current coursed across my cerebellum,
Coaxing things from my brain tissue, the things I wouldn’t tell ’em!

All the math I ever learned,
the numbers and equations,
Were mechanically removed in this brain-draining operation!

My escape was an adventure.
(I won’t tell you what I did.)
But suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid.

inspired by the actions of my hero

April 14, 2007 at 12:20 pm 3 comments


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